We can all take a deep breath and exhale. I am not quitting. I am not leaving the hair business. I am, however, restructuring my life. What is the point of life, if we don't actually [ live ] it?
So what is going on you ask? I am looking for someone who wants to own their own salon in a small scale. [ OR ] someone who wants a small retail space to promote their business. My current lease ends October 31, 2023. For me, My Landlord has been really easy to work with (I have almost 5 years of dealings with them now). The options are to take my lease for the remainder 12 months and relieve me of all responsibilities (given that person passes the vetting process with my landlord) or to enter into a whole new lease with my landlord. I would love to sell the contents of my salon to whoever takes the lease rather than selling each item separately. My massage therapist has been with me for the full 5 years and has been the best renter. If the new owner wants to keep massage, she is open to staying.
Then what are you going to do? I'm not going anywhere. Jenks has become my home. I will rent a booth at a local salon here in town and continue to care for my clients as I always have. I will continue to operate under "Beautiful by Holly". I will continue to use vagaro for scheduling. I will continue to use L'ANZA products and have them available for sale on Amazon. Depending on the salon I choose settle in, those products may also be available to purchase at appointments.
So why the change? When I opened Southern Sass Salon & Spa in 2017, I was married and had a 2 year old. We didn't think we could have any more children. My husband had worked for the same company for years and had a steady reliable schedule. Since opening, we have experienced so much of life in a short time frame:
- 3 or 4 more surgeries
- The death of an amazing man who was dear to our hearts
- A pregnancy that wasn't easy
- A child with severe health issues
- Hospital stays with our child
- Lots of medical testing and procedures for my child
- A brilliant sweet child who seemed to have to try harder than everyone else....who we now know has ADHD, Motor Tics, and Dyslexia
- The Pandemic
- Business owner struggles
- Scare of possible eye cancer
- Opening our home to extra kiddos
- Covid set backs
- My husband started a business
- Injuries due to the lack of self care
- Health Issues
- Family Issues
....the list is endless. And honestly, I am tired. I won't give up though!
This year has been rough in different ways. I started the year pretty sick because I hadn't had the time to really care for myself as 2021 came to a close. I found myself in a stage of numbness. The Holly who would start balling with any emotion became emotionless. Unable to feel joy, sadness, gratitude, self love, love for others, anger, concern...I got scared. I started in person talk-therapy. I always thought my life was overwhelming, but that so was everyone else's. My point of view changed in therapy. My therapist reassured me that I have experienced more trauma in 31 years than many do in a lifetime and it is remarkable how I was still barely holding it all together. It wasn't until this summer that I broke down and was able to cry again and my feelings returned. I don't ever want to feel numb again. While on this inward journey, I started to discover myself through the Enneagram. That has by far been the most helpful tool in bringing me back to my true self. I am a one....a ONE with traits of TWO's, NINE's, and SEVEN's depending on the day and situation. To be a REFORMER, an IMPROVER while going through all that trauma has been quite the battle. I'm learning to:
only take care of what is mine
to set and communicate healthy boundaries
allow myself rest and solitude when I need it (without the guilt of taking that time)
to take time for the moments that are gone in an instant
to SEE the beauty of things for what they are without trying to fix them and make them better
to give it ALL to God and trust that he will guide me
relationships are more important than accomplishments
to listen more and speak less
set an example of Christ in all that I do
to let things go
to know that god made me the way I am, and he loves ALL of me
to know that I don't have to be perfect for everyone, Jesus did that for me on the cross
I'm learning what my spiritual gifts are and how to use them
I am learning to breathe and to [ j u s t • b e ]
To accomplish all of that, I needed to make a shift. I need to have less responsibility weighing on my shoulders so I can focus on the things God wants me to see and do. While scary, it is kind of freeing. This shift is allowing me to be more available to my children who need me right now. To be a part of their world at school and help it go round. To invest in the lives of my church family. I need this shift.
I hope this settles your worry. And I hope you know me well enough to know wherever I end up will be the right place and the decision will not be made lightly. If you too believe in God, I ask that you join me in praying over my decisions and future. I will keep you all updated and informed as the changes unfold.
Thank you to all my wonderful clients who have supported me, believed in me, encouraged me, confided in me, cried with me, laughed with me, inspired me, and prayed with me over the years. You are my friends, my people, and it's because of you that I strive to be the very best I can be every day. Thank you!
PS. If you have ever felt numb, found yourself wondering why you think the way you do, why others think the way they do, felt stuck, or just want a deeper meaning for your life; Take the enneagram assessment and learn about your unique true self.